Skank Wine of the Month | Wine Reviews

Respectable budget wines and loveable stank-ass swill that belongs in a brown paper bag. It’ll be our little secret.

LAMURA Rosso Terre Siciliane

Cost: Average price $6.99

Where buy now: Stinson Wines & Spirits

Grapes: 100% Nero d’Avola

Region: Sicily, Italy

Vintage: 2013

LAMURA Rosso Terre Siciliane
LAMURA Rosso Terre Siciliane

I’ve been sick all week and with that sickness comes an air of selfishness. You could blame my mom for being the most nurturing of matriarchs. You could blame my birth order and the entitlement I feel as a first child. You could blame an unconditionally loving husband who strives to make me happy. However, it all truly comes down to this fact, I choose to be a big baby.

 

Zinc lozenges, Generic Dimetapp and nasal spray had my tastebuds all bug-a-boo. I couldn’t taste. My diet consisted of Northern Minnesotan fare: bland, white food. Saltines and chicken noodle soup. I was sad. No wine. No bubbles. No happiness. I consumed Xanax as a way to achieve a wine buzz I so desperately craved.

 

As the fog slowly lifted, my tastebuds began returning to a normal state. What does any Italian gal do after a diet of bland food? Turn to pizza and pasta. Gimme spice, gimme garlic, gimme pizzazz. To test the tastebud waters, I didn’t want to blow it on some expensive (ie: $15) bottle of wine. Last week I picked up some cheapy bottles (as if I subconsciously knew) for such an occasion.

 

I picked up Lamura Rosso Terre Siciliane. This one rang up at a whopping $6.99.

 

“What the fuck am I doing? I’m being cheap. No, I’m being adventurous AND it says Natura Sicilia. Go organic!” I told myself.

Scene from The Savvy Lush research and recovery operation.
Scene from The Savvy Lush research and recovery operation.

 

So, here I sit. In bed. Dog at my feet. Crappy daytime T.V. on the boob-tube. Me, a pizza and a glass of red wine. It’s fucking awesome. I’m back, baby. Lamura Rosso Terre Siciliane wine is light on the lips. There’s enough cherry-berry fruit to taste, without being jammy and it’s not overly dry or tannic. It’s soft, gentle and thin on the palate. Perfect for this recovering (addict) sick gal.

 

It’s all working. You can blame my inability to taste fully. You can blame my laziness that is a frozen pizza. You can blame my day-drinking. However, it all truly comes down to the fact that I deserve these just rewards.

 

Skank wine of the week – one deserving of my selfishness recovery.

FICTION Red Wine Blend

Cost: $8.99

Where buy now: Several stores nationwide

Grapes: California Kitchen Sink Blend

Region: Paso Robles, California

Vintage: 2013

Fiction can

“Honey, I’ll take it in the can tonight.”

And yes, you will. My Skank Wine of the Month is a little above my $6 threshold but it’s in a can which deems itself skank-worthy.

I grabbed a can of Fiction Red Wine Blend out of sheer curiosity. It’s a kitchen sink Cali blend and I was shockingly surprised. Cheeky, but I liked it!

Some thirty-something year old cat in California has a job that exposes him to some valuable grapes. He buys them up around the state and blends them into a wine he enjoys and now cans (for the cool kids.)

This wine is novel and has it’s place in the back pack of a bicyclist, in a cup holder on a boat or in your hand at a concert. This wine is deep ruby red boasting dried blackberry fruit flavor, herbs and mineral sweat. It’s like the thinnest kid at fat camp; confident enough to hold it’s own within it’s field.

Grill up some skin on wieners or my new fave – the Cherry Bomb Brat at Kramarczuk’s and crack a can. While your friends suck down PBR or the new Miller LITE throw back tall boys, you’ll pull this out and be all classy and shit.

By the way, the glass was used for posterity.

 

CK Mondavi Merlot

CK Mondavi Merlot

 

Cost: $6.99

Where buy now: Stores nationwide

Grapes: 80% Merlot, 4% Syrah, 4% Petit Verdot, 4% Petite Sirah and 8% “other”

Region: Wild Creek Canyon, California

Vintage: 2012

It’s a new year, full of possibilities. New exercise regimes, new dieting fads, new budget dedication, and any other new resolution that will most likely fade as we enter the second month of the new year.

 

My biggest resolution this year is to get my budget in check. I’ve been spending like an asshole on wines all in the name of “research” [burrrp]. If I EVER want to put in that oh-so-desired wine cellar and continue my international travels, I need to reign it in!  But I will not sacrifice taste.  Well…

 

Just as I’m committed to tightening up my budget, I’m committed to drinking wine, dammit. I’m kicking this year off with a CK Mondavi Merlot.  With a mere $6.99 price tag, this has weeknight “skank” wine “sampling” written all over it. It’s a no frills bottle of red that’s as easy to drink as it is to open (thanks to the twist-off cap).

 

This wine is a burst of cherry and plum flavors. It’s quite fruit forward but not like actual grape juice. (I found the CK Mondavi Cab Sav to, ahem, embody more of that fruit juice flavor.) This, at least, has some oaky hints, which provide some structure.

 

Again, this CK Mondavi Merlot isn’t some Master Sommelier-caliber, complex, expensive, multi-layered vino. It is however, shall we say, community college-fortified. It’s practical and will give you what you want without breaking the bank.

 
Happy New Year’s and now, I’m off to visit the gym. . .for the THIRD time this year.