I have been frequenting Surdyk’s for more than 15 years, and still get giddy every time the wine sale flyer comes out. However, the Surdyk’s wine sales are not for the faint of heart. Dare I say, it takes feats of strength (and patience) to manage it. This is typically due to one or more of the following reasons:

1 – The parking lot is a disaster. People drive in from all around the metro, often times in giant SUVs, desperately seeking that rock star spot.

2 – Okay, great, you finally have a spot and are inside. What’s next? People everywhere, carts up and down the narrow aisles, not to mention wine bins every 5 feet. It can look as if people are stocking their bomb shelter, full of nervous energy associated with situations requiring said bomb shelter. Quite overwhelming.

3 – You found your wine- now you need to wait in a cartoonishly long line (hey, that rhymed!). Then, back to the clusterf**k in the parking lot, only this time, with several breakable treasures in tow.

Sold you on going to Surdyk’s wine sale, haven’t I? Not to fret. In my 15 years, I’ve managed this event the wrong way and I’ve done it the right way. Here is my insider’s guide to the “right” way, followed by my top picks.

First off, I cannot believe I’m even giving you this dirty little secret: avoid the parking lot nightmare by arriving shortly after they open. I like to get there by 9:15 a.m. If need be, I’ll conveniently schedule a “doctor appointment” that morning and skip a half day of work. This is the main perk of arriving early: less human clutter. I chat with the little old men in newspaper caps, take my time looking at labels, and you can actually hail a wine associate for their undivided attention.

“Get a cart or not?” That is the question. If you plan to buy more than 8 bottles, get a cart. Otherwise use your eco-friendly wine totes. Do NOT push your cart down the aisles. Surdyk’s even posts signs to thwart this rude act, but the bewildered and stupid still force their carts down the skinny aisles creating an annoying bottleneck. These people should be shot (or at least maimed).

Note that each aisle is marked by country/area of origin. Use these signs to guide you, as the list I’ve created below is categorized geographically. With my system, you could be in and out of there within 15 minutes (hmmm, perhaps an infomercial is in order? Sham-what?).

Now that you’ve learned how to tame the Stegosaurus that is the Surdyk’s Spring Wine Sale, here is a Savvy Lush endorsed smattering of sagacious picks, this list is long enough w/o including the French:

California

Italian White

Italian Red

Spanish Red

Germany

South America

Portugal

New Zealand